Golfing in Slovakia

The reason for my recent temporary hiatus and overall low frequency of writing in past weeks is very simple – like a bull tempted by a red flag I have been blindly following a vision of improving in golf. The major turning point is marked by the issuance of my green card that assigned me a handicap of 54 and a ticket to almost any golf course in the world.

My first real round of golf took place last Monday in Šilheřovice near Ostrava. The golf course is set in between pebbly path walks, shallow ponds, and monumental oak trees that have been growing there ever since the Rothschild family decided to build their chateau – to direct the steel mills that coined Ostrava’s nickname of City of Iron which it has been unsuccessfully trying to wash off – in the area and transformed its surroundings into a park. But the well-kept fairways clearly contrast with the state of the chateau which apparently lacks an owner and therefore necessary funds for its restoration. The club house itself does not possess the luxuries typical for newer club houses and was it not for the limousines in front of it, a first time visitor would hardly recognize it as a social heart of the sports area; albeit the tee fees belong to the upper half of Czech comparison table, and waiting lines are long, the maintenance costs of the largest golf course I have visited so far sentence the non-essential buildings around to slow deterioration both in the inside and outside.

Nonetheless I approve the direction in which raised money is spent, the course is magnificent. The right-turning first hole the longest of them all, is hilly on the, side and the path of a driver is obstructed by an old oak tree that tempts you to aim to the right where your ball will inevitably be lost in the long-cut rough. The second hole is far less challenging, just like holes three, four and five (which green however is randomly leveled and makes putting more a matter of luck than skill (that might have actually played my favor)), but idiosyncrasies of hole six elevate the level of one’s frustration back to proper highs when the branches of surrounding trees tend to divert paths of balls into wetlands behind them. I lost my favorite Titleist 2 there (I lost another beloved Titleist today after a swing that will forever live in infamy for the peculiarly curved trajectory it gave to the ball). The hole seven (par three) represented a return to more leisure railways as it allowed me to hit the green with only one stroke and finish completely it with boogie.

Only two more holes of the remaining eleven deserve commentary. I scored my very first boogie on par other than three on hole ten. On hole eleven I managed to lose two balls less than twenty meters from the tee ground; my first ball was lost immediately somewhere by the roots of plants with large green leafs, the second one literally vanished after I hit it after yet another crappy drive. The tragedy however didn’t end there. Encouraged by my grandfather I decided to drop another ball closer to fairway with a hope that this will not get lost. How naïve I were. Although the shot was perfect – long, properly high, well-aimed to land on fairway – we never found it. Debating taught me to successfully hide my feelings and at moment I was glad the infuriation that was boiling my blood in veins was not reflected on my face and choice of vocabulary. I was very, very angry.

Later on Friday I left to a “vacation” to Slovakia. The quotation marks around the word vacation are intentional and very appropriate – I feel more tired than ever. The daily program here consists of driving at least 60 miles every morning to one of two spa towns in western Slovakia where we play a round of golf. I sometimes follow it with a tennis match (though the results ought to remain unpublished), and then run away to Tesco where I sit by a table in a corner of a café and steal their wifi. There I download emails and work for five or six hours every night until one in the morning. What a vacation!

Tomorrow (or actually today, in just nine hours) I will enter my first golf tournament. I have two motivations: first, I want to improve my handicap that is now on the beginner’s level; second, I want to eat more of the delicious chicken breast with green peppers I lunched yesterday in the restaurant adjacent to the club house. It’s soothing to know that at least one of the goals will be accomplished because the waitresses are always willing to serve the hungry golfers more of the overpriced (but delicious!) meals. But frankly I feel my cynicism here is misplaced; I really have improved more than marginally (another cynicism – any step forward for a beginner objectively represents a large improvement) and my ambitions for doing reasonably well are not groundless. My current sky-high handicap will provide me a comfortable aid on each hole, and at the end might be really helpful. I will see and let you know…

I’m thankful for my parents’ conservative choice

A judge in New Zealand made a young girl a ward of court so that she could change the name she hated – Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

via BBC

Why so reluctant?

You see, it certainly is possible. But why the hell does the governener have to speak so loudly about possible policy changes just two days before I make my tuition payment in foreign currency?! I can never be satisfied…

Sounds familiar…

The combination of slowing demand, strong exchange rate and high energy prices should, according to my calculations, decrease the profit of an average manufacturing company by almost a half. [...]

The question is whether such dark outlook is necessary, considering the Czech National Bank has means available to fight the disproportional growth of the Koruna.

Hospodářské noviny — original in Czech, translation mine.

Reading: Liar’s Poker by Michael Lewis

I wonder whether this would still seem amusing just as much as it did in 1985:

“Could you tell us,” said a young fortune seeker, “whether the firm has considered opening an office in an Eastern European city? You know, like Prague.”

Like Prague! Had the speaker been anyone beneath the level of executive committee member the room would have erupted in spitballs, paper wads, and howling. As it was, unnatural sounds came from the back row, as if a dozen young men were choking back their ridicule. The thought of Salomon Brothers in Prague had possibly never occurred to anyone in the seventy-five-year history of the firm. Such is the spark of creativity generated by the presence of a member of the executive committee demanding to be asked questions. (p. 57)

Unfortunately, I think it would (although not at Salomon Brothers)…

The need for speed thanks to Vorsprung durch Technik

When I was golfing today in Ropice, I had a hard time deciding what was more fascinating — whether it was the peaceful mountainous scenery in which the challenging golf course is set in, or the fleet of cars in the parking lot.

I was especially intrigued by two Audi A8 limousines that stood calmly next to each other, reflecting the sun light off their metallic black and sapphire exteriors. Although surrounded by cars of brands that have become synonymous with luxury — Mercedes-Benz coupes, BMW sedans, or Range Rovers SUVs — Audi’s monumental tail lights in the back, characteristic overlapping rings in the front, and large opaque black windows on the sides signaled self-confidence and even superiority over its neighbors. The aggressiveness the cars possessed under their hoods were hidden under their reserved and majestic aluminum bodies, and when the engine of one went on, on the same time as we were packing the golf bags into our car, the subtle symphony produced by the 4.2l engine sounded almost subconsciously seducing. When the wheels were set into motion, the vehicle left the lot slowly as if it quietly exploring the area, waiting to catch a prey. I love that car.

That car is the reason why I study and work.

Wasting free money

The length of term for a board member at Czech national bank is six years and I think the last vice-governers were replaced two years ago. The next election will therefore take place when I’ll be graduating from Gettysburg with a degree in economics (with a focus on macroeconomics) and the seat at the board will be a strong candidate to my other dream job as investment banker. I’m fairly confident in my capabilities of economic analysis and policy design. At least I am not worse than the current board.

A few weeks ago, a prominent Czech business newspaper, Hospodarske noviny, published a first page analysis of the impact of irrationally strengthening Czech Crown to exporters. It was estimated the exporters alone have lost over 100bn Crowns (~$7bn), although I think this estimate is way too conservative. I also picked up this paper when I was coming back from Prague last week and read the Prague’s small stores owners (the ones that sell crystal and other admittedly overpriced and lavish memorabilia and junk) suffer as shopping is getting more expensive for the visiting foreigners. One owner was quoted he had never seen an American counting money and contemplating whether he can afford to buy the glass or not. The consensus is the revenues will be done 50-65%. And today, the same newspaper featured a main page story of Czech towns that suffer from the quick devaluation of Euro, which is down 22% year-to-date, and face a threat of a possibility of cancelling larger public real estate development projects in a total value of circa 150bn Crowns ($10.1bn). Oblivious to all of this, the board of governors from a beautiful majestic building near the Republic Square does nothing.

What’s worse, some of its members even publish articles lauding the current policy, arguing the relative stability of our stock market has been achieved by the strong Crown that has been offsetting the shakings mainly from overseas.

There’s something to note though. Firstly, our stock market is very small, it’s a dwarf and ant. Only 13 companies are traded in the main market, with one representing a significant majority of all trades (I’m in a train, will back this up with numbers eventually). Furthermore, It’s composed of firms representing industries that have not been severely hit elsewhere in the world (energy and natural resources being the most active segments on our market). Secondly, our stock market might not be volatile (although that isn’t a definite truth either) but it’s following the direction of all world indicies — it’s going down. And thirdly, the reason why we have not seen any financial to collapse, as it happened in case of Bear Stearns or recently IndyMac, is that the Czech Republic doesn’t have any investment banks, and its banks, insurance and mortgage companies do not use the malicious financial vehicles (SIV, CDO…) that are responsible for the turmoil in America or Britain, because our market is too small and we don’t have enough healthy and dodgy mortgages we could bind together and sell them as a package with a randomly set time-detonator. Our stock market is infinitesimal compared to NYSE and NASDAQ and FTSE, thus offering less space for the financial anarchy seen at the exchanges above. There isn’t a right answer to a question whether a small market is better than a market, however attributing the peace in our waters to either option is a pure lunacy.

It’s even worse that a vice-governer decides to share such diluted fantasies with educated audience, because Hospodarske noviny is mainly read by professionals and even if it wasn’t, a financial topic of commentary always successfully discourages the readers not unfamiliar with the matter. If this guy is eligible to run for a reelection, he might count me as a contender.

Dow up 207.31 (1.85%)

After a long slide we’re finally seeing the Dow rebounding. I hope it will keep its course.

On miracles in sports

In my favorite book of recent days, The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins defines miracles as events possible yet extremely improbable. He gives an example of a statue of Virgin Mary that can indeed wave her arms to us because it is made of atoms and there is a chance that one day those atoms will be all moving chaotically but in the same direction, thus giving us the illusion of witnessing a miracle.

Miracle of this kind is what I experienced yesterday at a tennis court. The atoms in my body had been all moving in a way that allowed me to play my best tennis in months, maybe even longer. I have been long thinking and analyzing what I had done that made me play like Roger Federer as opposite to my regular performance comparable to… Well, someone who doesn’t play it all that well. I was able to trace the roots of my phenomenal serves to the night before, when I engaged in an entertaining and refreshing conversation with Bara, whom I now dedicate this post. I shall now postulate she possesses a skill-enhancing magic that can be transmitted through the fiber-optic wire, but I will refrain myself from that. On the same night I was also starving, so maybe my vision of food on the plate motivated me to play serve and volley style of game against Pavel, now tennis-wise finally inferior to me.

For the first time in weeks I also felt genuinely tired, especially after I finished the short but paced round of golf in the early afternoon. The city of Ostrava opened a new golf course on the bank of the river Odra and I went to see how it looked like. For an eye of an uninformed visitor the place could resemble a recently cut meadow, which in fact it was. The terrain was as flat as one would expect from a river bank. No bunkers (with the exception of real concrete “bunkers” of former water plant along the road) were maliciously placed in the greens to frustrate golfers. And the greens weren’t really green, at most of the holes the brown color of earth soil dominated the area, and the rich short straws of dark green grass on fairways — so typical for golf courses — were as scarce as the hair of George Costanza. On contrary, the plants around fairways were very well grown, some spanning to more than a meter in height. Two of my drives (well played, straight and long, obviously too long) ended up in those bushes and the balls shall rest in peace there for the eternity. If golf is still perceived as a sport for snobs, this course is definitely working on eradicating this negative connotation. It only proves the unspoken and so widely naïvely disbelieved truth that it is impossible to create a golf course of even an average quality without substantial investments. What was built in Ostrava compared to real courses is like aging Walmart superstore in Idaho to a prominent boutique on 5th Avenue. No miracles here…

Is it that much to ask?

My thumbs hurt already after I’ve been emailing furiously on my phone, trying to explain why I suddenly logged off the instant messenger and didn’t finish sending the large email I’d been promising to turn in for four days.

For the second day straight, the night hours are to be spent in total darkness. But this time there are no signs of the blazing wind and heavy torrents of rain that were rampaging my country yesterday. Looking out of the window, I see nothing but a nearly clear sky over which rests a bright luna. No hurricane, no monsoon.

So why on earth is the power down?!